*~FAIR AND SQUARE~* What do I consider when buying a gift: -What is the significance of buying a gift? -If that person treats me truthfully or call me a "friend" to make himself/herself looks like Mr/Miss Nice? -If that person understood me or in many cases doubt me and accuse me. (Note:I hate being accused) -Why do I buy the gift? Do i really feel like buying one because i truly treat him/her as friend and wanna show my love by getting her/him something nice or do I buy just to maintain the "peace" within the clique which is actually an integrated clique. -Whats our past? Did he/she gave me any unforgettable sweet memories?Did he/she once treat me truthfully?
To be truthful, i hate being obliged to buy presents during christmas, or birthdays. When I truly feel like buying present for someone, I feel like very happy and excited. I will be anxiously waiting to see his/her reaction upon receiving my gifts. I will hope that she can feel my love and be touched by my move. ( i know getting touched is a sweet feeling). When I buy because i feel the obligation, i really feel the unwillingness in me. Buying to make the "scene" looks better, buying to maintain "peace", buying to avoid questions, buying to keep a good image.....etc. I am sure many didnt buy presents out of sincerity. I am cynical, but I know i can't be wrong. Many do that, I know. It's something that happened everywhere, in workplace, in schools. I was excited when i bought a cake for my mum. I wasnt at all excited when I know I need to fork out money to buy present for "friend" I don't have any feelings left. I am not someone wang en fu yi. The problem is there isnt any yi for me to fu. I know if some of my friends chanced upon my blog, they may say: "then don't buy lo~ No one forcing you". I alwayz think that is a stupid statement. It's not the forcing part that is scary.....but the consequences of not buying. People may not show their unhappiness in order to look like Mr/Miss Nice but you know many already have doubts about your personality, maybe even accused you of not treasuring your friends. It's better to have one more "friend" than enemy.
Fair and square I am...now my belief is : If I feel that person did not treat me turthfully, I will not treat him/her very nice. If that person treat me truthfully and sincerely take me as his/her good friend, I will definitely give more than I take from them.
Have been putting my heart and soul into friendship and relationship, only ended up getting hurt. I believe in give and take. I believe in sincerity. If I in any case bought a lousy gift or never bother to put in some effort to do cards or msg u at 12am.......do not blame me. I know i gotta lie to myself somehow.....but not entirely. After a while......... I cldn't breathe.
P.s: I know friends chancing upon my blog may jus bear bad impressions of me. Forgive me. I just wanna be honest in my blog.
it rained at 9:47 AM
Me*____
ME: JuanZ | TKSS,NYJC,NTU | First crY: 19th Nov 86' |
To B HeaLthY | My ParenTs wun Grow olD | NO MORE lies from anione animore | A DigitAL cam | PaSs emAge tEst | Do Well fOr ALl eXaMS | GeT a Gd joB in Future | LasTly,I Jus WisH to B haPPy ALwayZ^^ | I wish...........
