*~Why do i fear?~* Sometimes you spend money to buy for chances. But years after when you got a small little chance, you are thinking of giving up. I always claimed that performing for the audiences is my passion, it's what i wanna do. But why do i fear when it's just acting infront of camera and not performing infront of audiences? After joining emage, i love performing infront of my friends but why do i fear so much when it comes to camera. It's just a small role. Probably even without dialgue, probably i won't even be noticed then why do i still fear? I rejected the offer today. One of the reason is it's TOO far from my office because they wanted me to go west coast for shooting. I thought ok, there's enough reason for me to not go but why do they change the date and location and asked me to accept the offer. Why must it be me? Is it because it's an ugly role thats why no one dares to take up the offer and hence me? If it's just a simple nurse role, why is it that they don't ask others for shooting after i rejected them today. Why do they change the shooting date to suit me. Was it a flirtish nurse that i need to act? Was it an ugly nurse that i need to act? What was it. Why do i fear so much?
Now they changed to queenstown instead of west coast. They changed the date. They changed the time. What can my reason be? I told them today is the deadline for my resale report. I told them it's hard for me to travel all the way from west coast and back to office. The reason:cause i'm not interested in acting. But is that true? Why do I even spend money on drama lessons years back when i was in sec 1. Why do i fear so much as i grow older.
Dawn said at least i gotta experience shooting, better than nothing. Ningsi said it was a good experience and exposure. But benjamin said it must be because no one wants that role thats why only inform me last sunday? He said it will be hard for me to regret after i reached that place. My mother said she had no objection but west coast is too far. Me? I don't know.
I msged the person-in-charge and said: my manager still deciding if she wanna let me off. Btw, can you tell me what kind of nurse i gotta act so i got xin li zun bei when i go . She replied: I will tell you only after you are able to go.
Why so secretive?? She gotta give me xin li zun bei for it!
Will i regret if i reject. Will i regret if i not reject. Do i really love acting? Do i really want that experience. Will it be a good one or bad one?
My mind is in a turmoil.
I gotta give the person-in-charge a reply by 11am. How? To go or not to go? whats the role? the outcome? Any reason for me to not go? A chance or a downturn?
I am getting headache. I have no mood to update on what happened yesterday though yesterday do have happening stuffs.
To B HeaLthY | My ParenTs wun Grow olD | NO MORE lies from anione animore | A DigitAL cam | PaSs emAge tEst | Do Well fOr ALl eXaMS | GeT a Gd joB in Future | LasTly,I Jus WisH to B haPPy ALwayZ^^ | I wish...........
