It has been a long long time since i last blog. Has been stayin in hall without my computer by my side:( The hall camp was fun except for the last day because i was too shagged due to sleepless night the previous day. All the activities are well planned, except for the speed dating session by SDU. My face was featured on the news due to the speed dating stuff organised by SDU! Feel so paiseh~ All in all, the speed dating session is really really lame.
Many thinks that living in hall is just all about fun and freedom but i begs to differ. Indeed, liivng in hall has a lot of advantages but it has its disadvantages too.
Plus Points:
- Ultimate amount of freedom till i actually feel weird about it. Sleepless night without any naggings from my mum. Going out without the need to 'report" to her.
- Friends for companionship the whole day instead of stoning alone at home.
- Short distance from hall to school.
Negative sides:
- i miss home. Missed the home cooked food and i actually missed my parents' nagging.
- Sprained my leg and i hope to stay at home when everyone will always remember i sprained my leg and give me the care and concern that i constantly yearn for.
- I missed my friends who are not in NTU or Hall with me. It's hard to find time for everyone to meet up.
- I gotta wash my laundry myself but i knew it's a learning process so actually no complaints about that.
- There's actually disadvantages living with a roomie. I couldn't cry out in my own bed because i feel weird crying where there are other people around.
- I felt attached to my roomie and i feel sad whenever people don't feel the same way as i do.
Despite all the negative sides of it, i never regret living in hall. Afterall, it's a good experience and way to know more about myself.
*~ALONE~*
I sprained my leg and i actually hate it. i hate to be left alone behind cause i know if my friend sprained herleg, i won't leave her behind. But i know nothing is fair in this world. No equal amount of give and take will exist.
Ziyun msged me saying she envys us because we get to go to Uni and stay in hall while she only get to study in MDIS. She said she regretted not working hard enough and promised to work hard there. I can feel what she felt. It's a terrible feeling when you are going the way different from your other friends. Feeling the difference, feeling insecure about whether the friendship will last...I sincerely wished her all the best in MDIS. I have confidence in her that she will do well in her studies!
Has been a long time since i last met up with Dawn and Meiting. Sigh. Kind of miss them already. They are always sensitive about how i feel. They are really nice people who always stick by me. Msged Panda yesterday because i felt sad to be left behind by my roomie. Sprained my leg but i understand it's no fun walking with a Bai Ka~ Haha. Anyway, Panda was nice and "accompanied" me through SMSes. Kindda missed him and Gong Gong. Anyway, WY was really nice to keep a lookout for me occasionally.
Talked to XZ yesterday then i realised he was a scorpio as well!! I told him my best guy friends in Sec school are both scorpios. When i said this, i actually missed the days with Jiekai and You aik. Both has been my pillars of support whenever i fall during my sec school years. Despite all the gossipings by other people, we remains as friends and our friendship is strong. Though we have not contacted each other for quite some time but I have always regarded them as my best friends. The memories had together are etched deeply in my heart.
Am alone blogging using LS's computer. She was sleeping because she has a fever. The room was quiet. I feel sick. i don't know if i actually like this quietness.
*~Platonic relationships~*
I think i cares too much about how other thinks. Always have this fear when i talked to guys. But i sincerely treat them as good friends. Probably cause some reminds me of Jiekai and youaik. They are really like my SUPER DUPER good friends in TKSS. Always hearing my problems, always helping me up, always sharing secrets together.
*~Fear~*
I have been putting up a cheerful front cause i know it's my cheerful and forever crazy manners that win me a lot of friends. True friends or not i don't know. But experiences tell me that whenever i act like myself, talk seriously, people reply me like i was telling a joke or get bored and not talked to me. I hate being suaned the whole day over every single stuff i said because sometimes i really meant to be serious. Experiences tell me that i gotta keep myself cheerful and crazy the whole day then only i get the attention i want. But there is a difference between concern and attention. Concern is part of attention while attention doesnt necessarily means concern. I will definitely want to have more concern from others then getting attention. Not that i still think i am a kid but i always thought we should be sensitive to friends' feelings? People tend to forget the serious stuffs that i said and remembered the lame stuffs i do. I feel really happy to entertain my friends but i find a "need" to remain crazy already because i know wheni don't do that, people finds me weird and instead of asking me what happened, normally they just stick to others who can entertain them better. Ok. i know i am being very cynical but yar...thats what i think. But afterall, everything lies on me la.
I kindda lose track of what i typing. There are like alot of stuffs in my mind and they are all very disorganised. I just feel bottled up.
I think i need a good rest. I know i need to be hyper when i woke up in order to feel happy. Well, this sentence doesn't sounds right. Guess i was really too tired. Off to rest.
it rained at 1:00 PM
Me*____
ME: JuanZ | TKSS,NYJC,NTU | First crY: 19th Nov 86' |
To B HeaLthY | My ParenTs wun Grow olD | NO MORE lies from anione animore | A DigitAL cam | PaSs emAge tEst | Do Well fOr ALl eXaMS | GeT a Gd joB in Future | LasTly,I Jus WisH to B haPPy ALwayZ^^ | I wish...........
